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Thread: Pam Ayres Poem

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Minbun, FNQ, (In the hills behind Cairns)
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    Default Pam Ayres Poem

    FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husbands point of view)
    The missus bought a Paperback,
    down Shepton Mallet way,
    I had a look inside her bag;
    ... T'was "fifty shades of grey".
    Well I just left her to it,
    And at ten I went to bed.
    An hour later she appeared;
    The sight filled me with dread...
    In her left she held a rope;
    And in her right a whip!
    She threw them down upon the floor,
    And then began to strip.
    Well fifty years or so ago;
    I might have had a peek;
    But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
    She's eighty four next week!!
    Watching Mabel bump and grind;
    Could not have been much grimmer.
    And things then went from bad to worse;
    She toppled off her Zimmer!
    She struggled back upon her feet;
    A couple minutes later;
    She put her teeth back in and said
    I am a dominater !!
    Now if you knew our Mabel,
    You'd see just why I spluttered,
    I'd spent two months in traction
    For the last complaint I'd uttered.
    She stood there nude and naked
    Bent forward just a bit
    I went to hold her, sensual like
    and stood on her left t*t!
    Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
    My god what had I done!?
    She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
    "Step on the other one"!!
    Well readers, I can't tell no more;
    About what occurred that day.
    Suffice to say my jet black hair,
    Turned fifty shades of grey.
    Cliff
    To be used for educational and/or medicinal purposes only.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Paterson, NSW
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    Default

    Very good.I can hear her reading it in that special voice of hers.

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    I can't find it on youtube, this one will do... sounds like us really.

    Cliff
    To be used for educational and/or medicinal purposes only.

  4. #4
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    Jul 2009
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    Paterson, NSW
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    Dunno where you come from Mush, but I'm buggered if she zounds loike any'un Oi've 'eard down 'ere.

  5. #5
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    Default

    Who she is talking about.... box head.
    Cliff
    To be used for educational and/or medicinal purposes only.

  6. #6
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    Jul 2009
    Location
    Paterson, NSW
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    Speak for yerself.I don't have a missus!!!
    The one I had was a Pommie, and I bushed her 'cos she was as lippy as Pam!!(Not always as funny, mind, but just as fucking lippy)
    Who are you calling Box Head,Drummer Boy?!

  7. #7
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    You, numb nut.... the bloke she is taking about sounds like most of the silly old cunts who live here, you included.
    Cliff
    To be used for educational and/or medicinal purposes only.

  8. #8
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    Jul 2009
    Location
    Paterson, NSW
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    Nah,I'm not on a Zimmer frame yet, and necrophilia does not enthrall me.
    I'm young enough to prefer to perve on the young stuff.
    The tropics seem to have rotted your thinking gear!

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