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Thread: Embarrassed

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Default Embarrassed

    I was in a pub and told the following joke:

    What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?

    Throw your clothes in so they get a wash.

    Once the laughing had died down, I became aware of a man on the other side of the bar, looking quite upset and talking to the landlord. The landlord came over to me and told me that the gentleman at the bar had recently lost his son and that my joke had offended him. I thought I should apologise. I approached the gentleman at the bar and offered my condolences for his loss and my apologies if my joke had upset him. He said that the joke had only got to him because his son was an epileptic and it was a fit which killed him.

    I wondered as to how a fit could actually kill someone and the man said that his son had an accident in the bath. Well, I realised then how inappropriate my joke had been in the circumstances.

    "Did your son fall and hit his head then?" I asked.

    "No," replied the man; "he choked on one of my socks".




    Don't slam the door on your way out, Tony.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    I have a mate who is epileptic and also has an acquired brain injury. He also has " very thin skin".

    Just about everything offends him but we don't pander to him because if you are in the pubswilling pints and talking shit ....in my view if you don't like it bugger off.

    A great joke goes like.... ( and you need a mate to collaborate on this one ) ..." Dent you look a bit down today mate"

    " Yeah I my grandfather got really badly burnt yesterday "

    " How bad mate?"

    " Well they don't fuck around in the crematorium"

    Well all the lads are pissing themselves except for oldmate who starts on about how his GF passing away years ago and he was cremated and storms off.

    Ok there is a time to steer clear of certain things and sensible blokes know that but ffs
    Redheads..." They will be the end of a good man, the envy of many and the sweetest thing once they are tamed"

    Unknown.

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Pub jokes are just that, they are a bit like Pauline and her views , what blokes talk about in pubs over a beer or two, every one laughs or agrees with 'but'
    "The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."
    Abraham Lincoln

  4. #4

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    The guy who lived at the end of our street is an epileptic. Thankfully he no longer lives there because his wife finally realised what the rest of us have known since they first moved here, that he is a socially handicapped, self-absorbed moron who looks like Mr Baraclough from Porridge and was definitely boxing above his weight when he convinced her to marry him.

    When I first met him he did not have a driver's license due to the fits. However a couple of years later, he managed to convince his doctor to write him a letter and he got his P's. The first car was written off about two weeks later in a single car accident with his 4 year old son in the back. Fortunately no-one was hurt. He claims he fell asleep. It was 9:30am on a week day.

    The second car was written off when he failed to negotiate the left-hand bend at the bottom of our street. He over-corrected and mounted the nature strip and collected a telegraph pole.

    The third car was written off on a corner leading into a bridge, he managed to roll it and block the bridge in both directions.

    There were a couple of minor prangs that required panel repair, and then he lost control on another corner and put the car on a treated pine footbridge along the local bike path, crossing the oncoming lane and 10 metres of grass to get there. That one was about half an hour before a regular bunch ride went through.

    His coup de grāce was when he lost control on a bend and collided head on with an oncoming car, with both drivers trapped and requiring rescue, blocking the Princes Highway in both directions for a couple of hours. According to the cops he was still fitting when they arrived at the scene. That was the first time he actually put someone other than himself in hospital.

    We are all now hoping that his license has been taken off him for good.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tolovar View Post
    Pub jokes are just that, they are a bit like Pauline and her views , what blokes talk about in pubs over a beer or two, every one laughs or agrees with 'but'
    How do you know a bloke in a pub is lying?





    His lips are moving
    Redheads..." They will be the end of a good man, the envy of many and the sweetest thing once they are tamed"

    Unknown.

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