Royal at that.
Have you been?
Take some albeit rather skinny but otherwise reasonable pretty sheilas, cut their tits off, dress them up in underwear or pajamas or swimming togs & a pair of the oddest looking footy boots you ever saw & wack them up under lights on the stage.
Now get a handful of young blokes that have been dressed by their Mum to look like Peter Pan & The Lost Boys of Neverland, take the amputated tits, (remember them?) stuff them down the front of their long johns, now stick them up on stage with the sheilas.
Turn on some loud boring music & get them to all take turns at doing some Tai Chi, or Yoga or a spacey drugged out version of the Hokey Pokey.
What could be better?
I’ll tell you, put it all on an open air stage in the middle of Winter, stuff 2999 other dills into a park to sit around on a grassy hill to watch & then turn on the rain.
Yup 3000 dopey Kuntz sitting in the rain wearing rain coats & ponchos & waving umbrellas to make it hard to see where yer money is disappearing to.
Top it off by selling fairly ordinary wine for about $60/l in little plastic thimbles & cold Asian food on wonky little paper trays.
Now what could be better?
How about if we pad the show out a bit with some indigenous modern dance? (weirder than ballet)
Lets see, what else can we do to enhance the whole experience?
I know, pepper the shit out of it with speeches from politicians, the mayor, the state premier, & some other boring as spit buggers that are all doing calisthenics trying to pat themselves on the back.
How about we put it on Sate Of Origin decider night?
Wouldn’t that be a fjook’n hoot?
Seriously, you haven’t lived if you haven’t tried it.