Sometime this year, most taxpayers will receive a tax refund.
I’ll explain how this works using a Q & A format:
Q: What is a tax refund?
A: It is money the government will send to taxpayers.
Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.
Q: So the government is going to be giving me back my own money?
A: Yes, however, not very much of it.
Q: What is the purpose of this refund?
A: The idea is that you will use the money to buy a high-definition TV set, thereby stimulating the economy.
Q: But isn’t that just stimulating the economy of Japan, South Korea and China?
A: Shut up.
Here is some cautionary advice about how you should spend your refund money:
If you spend it on clothing, the money will go to China, India or Bangladesh.
If you spend it on petrol, most of it will go to Saudi Arabia.
If you buy a computer, the money will go to India, Taiwan, China or South Korea.
If you buy a car, the money will go to Japan or South Korea.
If you buy useless stuff, the money will go to China, South Korea or Taiwan.
Instead, here’s a better way to keep your refund in the local community:
Spend it on garage sales, or
Go to the football or the cricket, or
Spend it on prostitutes, or
These are a few of the genuinely local businesses still operating here in our community.
Stimulate the local economy by going to the footie with a tattooed prostitute you met at a garage sale and drink beer all day! Result!