Idiot of the week

I blame shit like that on age & eye sight.

I have watched an old bloke with advancing dementia deal with a biscuit tin full of keys & he had locks on absolutely f’n everything.
He couldn’t remember which key opened which lock .
The kicker was that nothing he had was worth stealing.
Maybe he was worried that somebody would break in & leave more shit.
The real kicker was that by the time he’d got the lock open he’d forgotten why he was opening it.

My keys are marked so I can see which ones goes with which locks.
I have locks on sheds & containers to stop bastards from breaking in & leaving more shit.
Who are all you lot & why are you in my shed.
:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Bloke about my size owns a Commodore in which you can’t lock your keys. That is unless it’s a turns out stinking hot after a very cool start to the day, and after you take the first load of groceries down to the car and unload them into the boot you take off your jacket and throw it in on top of the groceries. Then you have one of those light bulb moments, about 1 millisecond before the boot lid slams shut, where you realise that the car keys are in the jacket pocket, and the wife who normally carries the spare key didn’t come shopping with you that day.

Similar thing happened to my sister-in-law, everybody was standing around the back of the car looking for ways to break into the boot & I walked over, opened the driver’s door & pulled the boot release near the seat.
Several embarrassed faces stared at me with their mouths hanging open.

When I was a fair bit younger than I am now, I had two bad habits. One of them was smoking. The other one: back then I drove a Ford Cortina. But that wasn’t the other bad habit. You could lock the Cortina’s doors by depressing the lock button and then holding the external door handle up as you closed the door. That was the other bad habit. One day, I managed to combine both bad habits. I parked outside a newsagents - in a No Parking zone - and locked my door in the usual way. I dashed in and bought a packet of gaspers, dashed out again and stuck my hand in my pocket for the keys. No keys. That’s when I realised the motor was still running. Being a quick thinker, I wasted no time in dashing back into the newsagents. “Have you got a wire coat hanger?” I asked. “Locked yourself out of your car, have you?” said the bloke behind the counter, handing me a coat hanger. I dashed out again, bending the wire into a hook as I dashed. “No rush,” said the traffic warden who was writing out my ticket, “take your time.” The small crowd who had gathered gave me a brief round of applause when I opened the door.

I used to keep a small length of that plastic box strapping tape in my wallet as my “spare key” to an old HG Holden.
It was almost as quick to use the packing tap to break into the vehicle, as to use the key.

Years ago I had an EH Holden and a mate had an HR. The keys were interchangeable. It was normal practice to fill each other’s car up with empties, or move them, especially to park somewhere difficult to get out of.

@shy-ted said in Idiot of the week:

Years ago I had an EH Holden and a mate had an HR. The keys were interchangeable. It was normal practice to fill each other’s car up with empties, or move them, especially to park somewhere difficult to get out of.

@shy-ted said in Idiot of the week:

Years ago I had an EH Holden and a mate had an HR. The keys were interchangeable. It was normal practice to fill each other’s car up with empties, or move them, especially to park somewhere difficult to get out of.

as we are getting off subject, as a teenager Id changed the factory design of my VW with the help of a brick wall. I had a work conference to attend and came out at lunch time to find mums Fiat 500 bambina straddled length ways the medium strip. 4 dicks had lifted it up, carried out over 3 lanes of traffic and spread its wheels over the strip.

Did that with a mini in a driveway,
also had a another trainee working on the wharf when I was a trainee, he had a vw that the engine cover didn’t lock.
I use to always get to work Just in time as I had a bike, would go to his v dub and using a thick lead pencil they used on the hot slabs in the steel works would draw a line down his spark plugs, Thing would never start and he and whoever he could con would have to push start it , once it fired it was ok. The dipstick could never work out why his car would
only fail when he was working at the wharf.

When the Mini first came out, one of our teachers had one. A bunch of us lifted/bounced his car between two buildings with only a couple of inches to spare back & front.
As he wasn’t a bad bloke, we bounced it out for him later.

administrators

We picked up a mini and put it on the verandah of the recreation centre that I used to go to when I was a lad.

Don’t know how they got it down but it wasn’t there next time I looked.

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